


I Ship Us (but seriously only in a hate-sex way)

by amorremanet



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe - Fans & Fandom, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Flirting, Ficlet Collection, Flirting, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-16
Updated: 2013-03-16
Packaged: 2017-12-05 12:03:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/723087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amorremanet/pseuds/amorremanet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one AU where Scott ships Dean/Castiel, Derek ships Wincest, and Stiles kinda wishes they'd quit fandom wank flirting and sleep together already.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

After graduation, Scott takes a year off—he's already into nursing programs, but taking time to save extra money never hurt anybody, and without school in the way, he's free to work at the animal clinic most hours. Stiles takes a year off with him, but that has nothing to do with money and everything to do with how he got distracted trying to figure out what he might want to do with his life and forgot to apply to anywhere. Mom says that they'll never do anything without each other, and Scott can't exactly deny that. They do spend an almost inordinate amount of time with each other, even for best friends, and when he pictures himself happy, his life always has Stiles in it.  
  
Between his shifts, though, Scott gets looking for something to do. Without school and lacrosse keeping him busy anymore, there's a huge vacant space in his life, and he guesses that he could do nothing, but every time he tries that, his palms get itchy and he catches himself rocking back and forth because that's better than just scrolling down his Facebook timeline, gaping at all the status messages about college that he doesn't understand. Scott has no idea what Stiles does with all his time, not having a job or needing to find one. He guesses that Stiles plays a lot of World of Warcraft, but Stiles insists that he mostly spends his time waiting for Scott to get home—like he's the Patrick Star to Scott's Spongebob Squarepants, but slightly less pathetic (Stiles's words for it, not Scott's).  
  
As it happens, though, the Sheriff gets it in his head to put Stiles to work in the office—getting coffee, making copies, taking phone calls—so when Scott gets one of his chances to look for a new hobby, he's on his own. For want of a better idea, he takes his bike down to the video store, figures he could at least rent a movie or find a new TV show to archive-binge on—and that's exactly what he does. Not quite intentionally, but on the other hand, the DVD case jumps right out at him. Not  _literally_ , but it might as well do that, for how it catches Scott's eye, draws him in—he walks past it, at first, then does a double-take, snaps his head around and takes three steps backward, tries to work out what he's seeing. Or just make better sense of it, at least.  
  
The show's called  _Supernatural_  and the case jumps out at Scott because it's different. All the other cases on the rack blatantly belong to sitcoms—they have different groups of unreasonably attractive people all standing together and smiling, or laughing, or throwing things at each other. This one just has two guys standing on the backdrop of an open road. The back-copy about the show has some story about two brothers out in the world, looking for their father and fighting ghosts and monsters—and for all Scott's not sure what he's getting into here, he can't deny that it sounds like fun, like some kind of brain-candy show. He's always had a thing for scary stories anyway.  
  
Over the course of the next two weeks, Scott finds the time to get through all seven seasons that the video store has available, and catches up on the speculation about the soon-to-air season eight. Stiles tries to ask him what's so great about the show, so Scott sits him down and shows him different episodes that stuck out at him—the pilot, and Heart, and Lazarus Rising, and The Monster At The End Of This Book…  
  
But all Stiles gets is that it's a pulpy, time-wasting genre show about two ridiculously good-looking brothers and how everyone they love dies. He completely misses everything Scott actually wants to talk about: the ways in which Sam and Dean's bond really,  _really_  isn't healthy; the ways in which John Winchester is too much like Scott's own Dad for comfort but the show wants Scott to think he's a hero and it makes no sense; how nobody gives Castiel the respect that he deserves, especially not the show itself…  
  
All Stiles says is that the brothers and the angel should quit hunting things and have a threesome, because that's all he's getting out of the way the three of them stare at each other and he's pretty sure that there's something more than fraternal going on with the brothers, anyway.  
  
Which is pretty much why Scott tells Stiles nothing when he signs up for some website called Tumblr, which is spelled wrong for reasons Scott can't even begin to fathom. Some quick prowling around Google says that this is where Scott can find other fans of the show, people he can talk to about different things that are on his mind. He's not prepared for all the photosets with the animated pictures, or for figuring out what the Hell FEELS are or why they're always, without fail expressed in capital letters, but it all comes together soon enough. He figures out reblogging, and how to set up comments on his blog because sometimes, reblogging isn't exactly conducive to having conversations.  
  
Scott smiles every time he settles in before his computer, now. And he has something to do with his free time.


	2. Chapter 2

"Derek, where's the fucking—did you move that slip of paper with the fucking router password on it again?"  
  
Derek sighs, hunches closer over his computer, shoves his glasses up his nose with one finger. "I didn't  _move_  it, Kate," he says and tries not to growl. "I threw it out—the old router was a piece of shit, on the way out. I set up the new one while you and Laura were at work. And the new password slip's on the fridge, by the takeout menus."  
  
"Wait a minute, you did  _what_?" Laura's unlacing her boots and trying to pry them off her feet, and Derek looks up from Tumblr to an icy expression that screams,  _I could seriously punch you in the mouth right now_. "How many times do we have to have the, 'Derek, don't fuck around with the Internet when we're not around to approve what you're doing first' conversation? Are you ever going to get it through your head?"  
  
Derek shrugs. "Are you ever going to get it through  _your_  head that I'm basically the whole reason why your wifi works in the first place?"  
  
Kate rolls her eyes. "Yeah, because you couldn't survive without it—don't act like you're doing us any favors out of the goodness of your heart over here, Pretty Boy. Everybody here knows that you'd wither up and die if you couldn't get on Livejournal with all your little friends to talk about how Harry and Draco are secretly getting it on."  
  
"Livejournal's on the way out, actually—and besides, I have a new fandom, now." Not that he imagines Kate really cares or that it makes that much of a difference in how she sees him. "Besides, I sold two of my prints on Etsy, sold three of my shirts and two pin packs on Spreadshirt, and got commissioned to make one of my plush toys today."  
  
"Well, did you try looking for a  _real_  job? Maybe applying to a Master's program like you were supposed to do a while back? I'm pretty sure you can only use the, 'I'm doing research before I try to propose a thesis' excuse for so long before it starts to sound a lot more like, 'I just have no idea what to do with myself and don't really want to do anything, either.'"  
  
Derek shakes his head and turns his attention back down to his computer, changes the subject to something better and more productive—like what Kate and Laura want to do for dinner, because he feels like Thai takeout, but he's open to other suggestions.  
  
Maybe it's not the best situation, but Derek's been living with his sister and her girlfriend since he finished getting his BA and the theme song to his life became, "What Do You Do With A BA In English." Maybe it's not the best situation, but it's not like there's anywhere else for him to go—their old house is still standing, or what's left of it, anyway, and he guesses he could always go to Uncle Peter's… but Peter hasn't really been the same since the electrical fire that took out most of their family. His voice goes too low sometimes, and he lingers too long in hugs, like he's afraid that Derek and Laura are going to disappear on him, and he wanders off into the woods for hours at a time as though he's really going to find any kind of answers out there in the trees.  
  
It's all kind of creepy and Derek's not really sure he could put up with Peter's quest to sue the guy who built the old house twenty-four-seven.  
  
Not that he can really talk about how people changed after the fire, either. That's when Derek first found fandom—they all had to move into Uncle Peter's out-of-town cabin, and between losing everyone and moving to a new city, Derek needed somewhere to escape. Somewhere where the other kids didn't whisper about him behind his back, somewhere where the stench of people who snuck out to smoke cigarettes during lunch block didn't make him remember the fire and identifying the scorched remains of his family members at the county morgue, somewhere he could take about all kinds of things that the therapist Laura got him didn't want to talk about because they were, "irrelevant" and, "not really the point of our sessions, Derek"—somewhere safe from everything else.  
  
 _Harry Potter_  was just a gateway fandom, though, and it lost the appeal after  _Deathly Hallows_  came out. No new books meant they had to talk about the movies instead, and really, Derek didn't see the point of that. They didn't even bother making Daniel Radcliffe's eyes green—talk about laziness. He found Supernatural next, and that's what he's looking at on Tumblr, now—the website's format is still new to him, still takes some getting used to, but there's no way anyone can just be static in fandom. Static means death—and so does someone tagging their hate.  
  
Derek huffs to himself, only half-listening to Kate and Laura debate Thai vs. cheeseburgers, and clicks into the Wincest tag. His heart flutters a bit, seeing that there's a new post in it since he last looked a few minutes ago—and then he sees the title:  **"Psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent": how the supremacy of Sam & Dean's bond is impeding their growth as characters, and why it sucks**.  
  
It's not entirely enraging, on its own, but when coupled with the username at the top of the post—scottlovesdestiel—Derek can't help growling under his breath. He can barely make it through the post's multiple paragraphs of bullshit argument before he's in the OP's ask box, firing off a very strongly worded message.


End file.
